The Purple Biscornu

I’m on the train back home after visiting Trolly along with Isagel. It’s always so stupid to have to go away so soon – the visits never feel long enough. We had loads of fun with zombie movies, drinks and pancakes, as usual.

Played a bit of Dragon Age which, it turns out, I really really like. I haven´’t really found anything to replace WoW, but this one is something I’d like to try. The problem is, it won’t run on my laptop – will have to buy a new desktop pc which I’ve planned on doing for a while anyway.

As always, I’ve been thinking about blogging but not actually doing it. As usual. So I’ve convinced myself that it doesn’t make much sense to force myself, I’ll just write when the mood strikes. There are so many things going on right now that I would really love to have some kind of record of later on.

Tired now – our train was delayed so we had to wait around for some time, and now we don’t exactly know how to get to my place since we’re not going to make our connection train. Train people say maybe there’ll be a bus. *sigh*

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I’m at a course in Stockholm this ti
e, and it’s the same it is every time I’m here at this time of year – I’M DEAD TIRED.

Can’t wait to get back to the hotel and take a nap.

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A few things.

Thing the first – I’m at a lecture course in Malmö and it turns put that playing Farm Frenzy during booooring lectures drains my ihone something awful. Möh.

Thing the second – I myself don’t have any experience with addiction. I have little effect of alcohol, which is a risk factor, but it just makes me wonder why in the world I should keep drinking if I feel more like coke. I am howerver starting to have a problem with painkillers. At the start I only took them against migraines (meaning max once a month). Then I started taking them for normal headaches. Then I don’t really know what happened, but I sometimes tool them if it felt like I was getting a headache.

I kinda outsneak myself by taking them in the middle of thongs, so that at the end of the day, I don’t even remember if I had two or four.

I’ve been making up excuses since I never even take the daily max dosage, and I’m not influenced in any weird way by them – but every time I go away for a week or so,I get a bit panicky, counting in my head how many pills I have left to take with me. Which is SO not a good thing.

So now I decided to wake up a d smell the coffee. Made a schedule so I will take the s regularly instead of sneaking them by me. I will reduce with one a week, so after four weeks, they’ll be gone. I will just have to find something else that feels nice – doesn’t feel very likely at the moment, but then I have to live with the not-niceness.

It all seems very real, to take them like this. Would rather just stop, but I’m already in this circle where I get a headache from the meds and then have to take them for the headache – so I’d rather be careful and taper out.

Thing the Third – you know how you sometes meet the nicest people you just click with? I met this awesome nurse in the cafeteria at lunch right now. We had such a great conversation. Good luck with your hand, I hope we can meet again

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Tags: Doctor Stuff, Pesky Real Life

So, last year I was doing absolutely fine. This year, not so much. I’ve had seasonal depressions every year since I’ve moved to Sweden – except last year, so I had hoped I had finally got used to The Darkness at the Northpole. It seems that the move has totally thrown me off.

I do love my new place though – it’s the first apartment I have where I chose the furniture and all, so it’s feels like all mine. *hugs apartment*

Been feeling majorly BLEH the last two weeks though – awfully tired, stresed out, sad and such. I’ve now started to think over my work schedule, and prioritised differently. Been sitting in front of my daylight lamp faithfully every morning, and since yesterday I’m actually feeling a lot better. I hope it stays that way.

Now I just have to go to bed earlier, but hey, when did that ever work out before? I’ve been getting ear acupuncture, which is awesome for insomnia, and it’s helped a lot. I’d really like to get rid of my sleeping pills.

Anyway, YAY WEEKEND! <333 I’ll be off soon to buy julmust and chocolate.

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Tags: Pesky Real Life

Almost rhetorical question – say you had a stroke, or a scary braintumor aka multiglio-whatsit, would you like to be taken in ata unit that’s taken care of by an almost- psychiatrist and a not-yet-licensed babydoctor?

Yeah, that’s what I thought. Apparently, the hospital disagrees.

Anyway, people seem to think I’m strange with my iPhone. Hungarian macho-colleague asked if it was mine, and when I said yes, he was all “Really?!?” with the appropriate stunned expression. Because you know, I’m a GIRL. Working a mobile is apparently supposed to be beyond me. Maybe he thought that I was supposed to give it to him and ask him to pleeease show me how to use this impossibly advanced work of technoloy, if possible with big bambi-eyes and everything. Idiot.

Also people are telling me I’m always doing stuff with my phone when really, I just read a bit at breakfast and lunch. I’ve finished The Time Machine now and have started with Alice In Wonderland. Because I don’t only use my phone for texting and playing Glyph, hah! Or writing blog entries over my tuna baguette. *cough*

This weekend, Bouncy Haired Girl visited and we caught up on all the tv series we were watching, but sadly not on the new Torchwood. Mainly because it seems depressing. I’m not spoiled at all, but the general theme might be one of these things that really scare me. (I have issues with supernatural stuff like demonic possession since I read The Exorcist and Rosemary’s Baby when I was twelve. I think at that point my parents had given up at actually looking at the 46543 books I dragged home from the library every week. Anyway, it freaks me out when it’s done in a certain way. More than spiders (!!!)

I guess I have to stop hiding behind my baguette and go back to work.

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Tags: Doctor Stuff, Pesky Real Life

I stayed home from work yesterday. I woke in the morning and had slept only a couple of hours, and I just couldn’t go. Damn early bus. Though I think that’s only a part of it.

I can stand people suffering, especially when they come to me for help. That’s what I do, and I have tools to help. My attending said to me in supervision a few weeks ago that it’s fun to do the supervision because I see my work as centred on the patient, as opposed to colleagues whose work is centred on the organisation of the hospital, on politics. As long as I can work with my patients, I can take a lot of organisational crap.

Now I’ve been doing my last rotation for about five weeks. Internal medicine, neurological unit. I’m supposed to learn more about the differential diagnoses between neurology and psychiatry, so I’m normally taking care of the half of the unit who’s not suffering from stroke.

Meaning a lot of, as Bouncy Haired Girl calls it, MultiGlyo-whatnot, aka glioblastoma multiforme (GBM), aka unoperable-6-months-to-live-braintumors. These things are so bloody malignant that at the point in time you find most of them, there’s not a lot of treatment left to do, and what there is is palliative.

It might have something to do with my new Chemo Angel assignment (an organisation you should check out if you don’t know it, it’s fantastic) which is a woman my age with GBM and a 12 weeks old baby.

It’s odd. I don’t have such huge problems with death normally, but somehow, things seem to have been adding up. I don’t know. Bouncy Haired Girl says I’ve seemed sad the last few days. I’m glad she’ll be here this weekend – there’ll be So You Think You Can Dance and Torchwood to watch which makes for a good weekend, naturally. Also, three weeks until vacation, yay!

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Tags: Doctor Stuff, Pesky Real Life

Like, for real. How can it be so hot? I’m sweating by just sitting here and thinking. At nine in the morning.

For serious? In Sweden aka the north pole?

Please for someone to be sending a breeze or maybe shooting me in the head.

Popularity: 7% [?]

Tags: Pesky Real Life

I don’t normally do these,  but I found the picture pretty, plus a phoenix is always a bonus.

What’s your inner spirit?

Phoenix You are free, loyal, and caring. You wish to help all those in need and heal all wounds of those you care about, no matter what the cost.

How do you compare? Take this test! | Tests from Testriffic

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While I was checking out participating blogs of Friday Fill-Ins I found a service called Entrecard.

Basically, you put their widget on your sidebar. You can rent the spot next to it to other blogs to earn credits. But mainly, you can go to other member blogs, click on their widget and “drop your card”, and others can drop their cards on your blog.

You get credits for dropping your card and other cards being dropped at your blog, from which you can e.g. buy an advertising space on another blog.

It makes it easier to find new blogs to read, and hopefully someone will find this blog and visit regularly.

Sadly, most of the link exchanges are made up mostly of people filling their blog with pay-per-post, or trying to sell their own products,

What I’m interested in are blogs that give me a view of someone’s life, a unique way to get to know the writer, to glean glimpses of what makes them tick. I do like some medical blogs, but otherwise I prefer personal blogs over themed ones.

I’ve tried to blog on Livejournal a few times, because I love the way communication there works via comments – but then I find most journals there are themed, but maybe that’s because I’ve mostly followed different fandoms on LJ.

I do want to use this blog however, and I love the new design So I have to find some other ways to find online friends I guess. Entrecard is nice in that I can click through blogs through the adverts, and I like that I can look at my inbox and drop cards for everyone who dropped their card on mine.

I definitely like it so far, and I’ve already found some great blogs through it.

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Argh!

I remember this blog I really liked to read. It was of a young woman who immigrated to Sweden – originally with her husband, but they seperated in the end.

I was very well written and funny and she calls Migrationsverket the irritation office. Hehe

It also has the typical traffic sign with the elk crossing the street as a header picture.

I want to follow it again and now I can’t find it. *kicks google*

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