Yeah, I shouldÂ be asleep.
You know that wet towel feeling, and how you can sometimes feel it’s coming, but try to believe it’s not? Might just be me.
Anyway, apparently I require lots of emotional energy. Or, apparently I’m okay to be around as longÂ as I’m happy-bouncy, but when I’m sad,Â I’m automatically not sad, but depressed, and require too much emotional energy.Â
And it makes me notice how much emotional energy I put into things, and how that’s maybe too much, if it goes unreciprocated as soon as I’m harshing the squee.
I just feel so endlessly bloody gullible sometimes. Thinking things are okay now and the punishment’s done with.
And yeah, I have been depressed at some point and did require loads ofÂ emotional energy, but now I’m not. I’m having a rough week, what with being in my second week of The Neverending Migraine from getting off my yearly antidepressant (for SAD – haha, pun.). So I’ve been sad. Twice.
So maybe it’s time I’m a bit more careful withÂ *my* emotional energy. I seem to be spending it too freely, and things tend to get onesided. It just makes me very sad. I thought it was well spent, really. It’s so hard to think I might have been wrong. Â
Â It’s this thing where I get overly involved. Time to take a few steps back, even if it’s difficult. It wouldn’t be if there wasn’t so much love involved. Sometimes I wish so hard I was home.
I’m not really bitchy, just exhausted. And feeling stupid, for doing the gullibe thing. Again. And don’t tell me you expected me to make sense in the middle of the night.
Place this – “There’s been too much water under the thing – whatever.” (D’oh! )
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Tags: Pesky Real Life